to be be be an be be be...

Mom the Queen

Today, July 19th would be my mother's birthday.

These photos are from her 90th birthday celebration. It was a common joke that mom fashioned herself as a queen.

I guess I could make some type of joke about her living like a queen, but I am not up for that.

Dad while he was alive treated her like a queen. More men should treat their wives like that. I can not really speak to their early years but I imagine it was not easy. My father worked as a Meter Reader and my mother raised children and did the occasional part time job I believe.

Much of what I remember and love to remember is my time with them after I got married. They were a couple that was truly in love and because of that, my dad wanted to make sure that his love got whatever she even thought about. [at least in my opinion] That is where the queen title came from and it stuck until she passed last year.

I stopped by her grave site yesterday to pay my respect and to try to remember what it felt like to have my parents once again in my life. I miss them. For those who still have their parents, take the advice from someone who doesn't have them. Love them and hold them close. You won't have them around forever.

One thing that I have learned and I don't like now as an older parent with grown children, is that you aren't really needed anymore. I guess I was guilty of that to some degree if I would be honest. I loved my parents, I loved talking with them, but I didn't need them once I got out on my own and started making my in this world.... I need them now...

It is funny how you don't know how much you will miss something until it is gone.

Everything I want to say now doesn't matter does it

I thought back yesterday to the moment I was at mom's bedside in ICU. The doctor had just recommended that we bring in hospice for the end. Mom had some confusion about things, but she wanted to go home. I wondered at that time if she knew which home she was speaking of.

I tried to talk with her about going home. I held her hand and I told her everything would be fine and she would be going home. No more trips to the hospital. No more getting stuck in the arm. No more confusion. No more....

When we finally got her home and towards the end, I would sit by her side and read selected bible passages to her. She did that for me and now it was my turn. I read different passages from the book of Revelation that talked about a new home and what the splendor of that home would look like. She is enjoying that now...

I held her hand for her last breath... It was peaceful and I am so thankful it was.

I wish I could hold her hand now. I wish I could just sit next to her and lean my head on her.

I love you and miss you mom....

You will always  be my mom and my queen

The Queen with her subjects, her legacy