Well it has finally happened.... I believe I have decided to officially transfer my race entry for Ironman Arizona to 2021. Now before you laugh and say "That race was never going happen anyway" you might be right. But the idea leading up to the official announcement from Ironman was that we were going to train like the race was going to take place in November and if it cancelled, it cancelled.
You might wonder about that mindset and say to yourself "No training is really bad is it" in the respect that it is a nice physical workout and how can that be detrimental... To which I can only offer my humble understanding of this.
Most people workout for an hour or so a day, a couple of times a week.. I do not have a problem doing that. When you have a coach or a structured training plan for an Ironman race, you typically start out training anywhere from 20 to 24 or even 30 weeks out. In basic math, in is not uncommon to train for 6 months leading up to an event.
To stay motivated for that length of time takes commitment. You have probably read something about "Waiting" in a previous post about my ability to stick things out. But let me clue you in on this one.
Day after day, week after week for that length of time becomes exhausting to a degree. The physical side effects are not really the problem. Some weeks you train for 6 hours and some weeks you might train for 12 hours...I have done this type of training now for a few years and it doesn't take it toll on me for the most part, so why the issue?
The mental side is incredible. You have to keep yourself motivated for this. Day in and day out. Typically my wife can tell you when I have hit that "spot". There comes a time in the training cycle that the "spot" happens. Self doubt creeps in, well hell, it doesn't creep in, it knocks the door down! It usually happens for me with about a month left of training for a race. The questions begin to race inside of my head; why do this, are you crazy, you will fail as usual, etc, etc, etc...
So as you can tell, there is a constant battle going on inside of you when you have a race date and you are trying to balance life, with all of its entanglements and you begin to wonder if this is worth it... Now enter COVID-19
We have entered uncharted waters now. Ironman has been waiting to what seems like the last minute to cancel races. Which I think I understand for certain reasons. If things would take a turn for the good, then a race could happen. But mentally this is nerve racking to say the least!
So before Ironman pulled the plug on the Arizona race in November, your hero is going to pull the plug on it. Which leads to the post for today.... P.I.D and Joe Dirt
P.I.D what is it?
Post Ironman Depression
I do not think you will find it in the DSM-5, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. No it is not like Big Foot or the Loch Ness Nellie, it really exist and I have experienced it more than once. Let me explain...
It is a feeling of loss, total loss, loss of purpose after the Ironman race is finished and you wake up and wonder what is next. It is a weird feeling to say the least. Now you are thinking, you haven't raced so why is this relevant? Well, canceling the race out of my calendar is doing the same thing.
When you focus on a date on the calendar and your drive towards that date and all of sudden that date no longer exists, you have a hole and it is a black hole... void and it appears endless.
I really wanted to race in Arizona this year. I love the course, the weather, the crowds and now just like that there is no race. Am I being over dramatic? Please do not think that I am not compassionate or do not understand what is taking place in the world. I do, but I am allowed to have my own opinion.....
Sidebar: Well actually not anymore in America. I would say "Not anymore in the great country of America" but I think we lost the "great" status and are moving to the socialist republic of America. What a shame that I am no longer entitled to my opinion publicly.
My father fought in the Second World War so that the socialist / fascist / communist would not run the world... shame on us! They did it! They won this war without really ever firing a shot. Who would have thought that? Oh well, back on track.
Yes so I am stopping the process of training for an Ironman race in November. So where does that leave me? P.I.D to some degree. I have to refocus and pick a new date, event and goal so that I can stay focused and not fall or slip further into the pit. Enter Joe Dirt! Life is a garden.... dig it!
I have to make the best of things... right? Isn't that what Joe Dirt would do?
So what might that look like considering the virus situation. I should not pick a race or event that has people going to it because that will be subject to cancellation....Which means this will be personal, very personal.
Funny as I write, I begin to solve my own problems. [If it were only that easy for everything in life]
I had been thinking of an ultra distance run. Something like 30 or 50 miles by the end of the year or the beginning of the year. That might happen, but then the P.I.D begins to set in and I think to myself why put your body through that! Why? Why the hell would I want to have soar feet and chaffed skin all over my body? Why....
As Joe Dirt would say, "You can't have no in your heart!"
So maybe the answer is just to do the Ironman distance race at home? Why not? Not impossible for sure.
The lap pool at the gym is open, currently, not sure of course as we go into the fall, but it might be. I have my bike on a trainer and I could ride the 112 miles indoors for sure. Then all I would have to do is run/walk the marathon in my neighborhood. That might work! There will be no glorious red carpet finish line, but.... but that is a post for another day.
So what have learned today? You can get depressed when things get cancelled in life. Even in the world of Ironman, it happens.
All I can do is pick up the pieces and move on. Sounds a lot like life in general doesn't it?
Keep on keeping on as Joe Dirt would say....and go out and dig it!
Dig it? Yes dig it!
Maybe in my next post we will discuss the great film Joe Dirt and it’s influence on my life....(sounds prolific doesn’t it)
Peace, love and chicken grease my posse
Paul